imagine the best thing you've felt in years

that's like how it is when i hear your voice, even on a voicemail, a pre-recorded piece of electronic transmission, when i hear your voice in live and real and cold person, when i hear you in the front room of my apartment having just come in from the actual real cold air, with your cheeks ruddy and still cold and kissable and well, i can't post this now, now can i?

is it because you are you or is it because i have a bit of class yet left inside me? that i can't post, that is? i hope it is the latter and never the former, because there isn't a good Goddamn (God with a CAPITAL G) thing wrong with this love letter, posted on the internet, for all to see, which i will post after all is said and done. it's a well-versed one, now isn't it? you would be proud and will be proud and are proud even reading it, because i will love you just as well without words, and that is the thing that continues to separate you from everything and everybody else in the world, i can love you without words just as well and even better, that i can use my words but they aren't necessary after all, turns out.

is the bad girlfriend alarm going off? shit, i hope not.

imagine the best thing you've felt in years, and years and years and today, then you will have it and then some again. like that new song that makes you rush for your credit card to purchase it on the old itunes, and like the best drink you've just discovered that everybody's been drinking for years and the jeans you pull on and on and on to holes and they still feel nice and comfortable and oh no, don't throw those out i know their rags but i love love them wish they could always be so, yes, that's just like that, the good jeans and the drink and the song, you are equal to and the sum of and the most universally greater than any and all of those, you are, quite simply, the beginning and end of me.

of course there's God, Jesus, that's not even relevant at this point. keep it in your bible covers, people.

Lord, where has romance gone?

not that i ever knew the word until, yeh, well. well.

well, well, well.

secret's out, i guess.